Rolling over into the fitful sleep of the discontented, the wicked, the alone but not accepting, their backs almost touching yet separated by a universe of semi voluntary blindness. Skin reaches out instinctively for skin, its brains that recoil, human emotion, stupidity.
The wasted years, wallowing in self obsession, bitter in the spin cycle that is existence. Existence, not life. Different & the same, the process is there but the action is far removed, soak vs wash, rinse, spin.
Dried out cake of mixed media soap flakes underneath the washing machine in a laundromat forgotten by time, walls yellowing and ignored, fluorescent lighting creating glare right where there should be glow. Ignored and disrespected words, a self unknown and a partner forgotten, where will we be, and who?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Sticky Toffee Perversion Pie...
... A recipe in three parts.
I blog from home, my little girl yelling "loser" in the background, bouncing a ball with her father and explaining that she simply cannot go to bed, she needs to watch soccer first....
Things are not quite as they should be, in that uncomfortably skewed way where one really isn't sure quite what is wrong, just that something is, the jaws of the world seem open in anticipation of a juicy morsel of life, a succulent bit of fairytale to nibble, roll around on its monstrous fleshy tongue and eventually grind between its crumbling, aged, tombstone teeth... in its own peculiar fashion it tantalises, the curious wonder of the unknown, "what next" is quite a satisfying location....
The luxury of melodrama is one to which I feel entitled this evening, I will envelope myself in its velveteen decadence and roll around, a puppy in long grass, twitching in unnecessary and yet somehow appropriate joy... bliss is well deserved, happiness spreading out through my veins, the twitchery, ticklish welcome of home at the end of an exceedingly long day....
The creation of new words is a joy, transmogrification of the old and birth of crispy fresh newness, shine and glitter and drip... what a lazy way to write, but what a delicious way to smile... a planet that is all my own, mine to decorate, to litter on and to polish when I feel the need, what delight....
and then, in passing, my grandmother apparently refuses to believe that I am a pervert, regardless of what facebook (and possibly the Oxford English Dictionary Editors in their Capital Letter induced self importance) may suggest....
I blog from home, my little girl yelling "loser" in the background, bouncing a ball with her father and explaining that she simply cannot go to bed, she needs to watch soccer first....
Things are not quite as they should be, in that uncomfortably skewed way where one really isn't sure quite what is wrong, just that something is, the jaws of the world seem open in anticipation of a juicy morsel of life, a succulent bit of fairytale to nibble, roll around on its monstrous fleshy tongue and eventually grind between its crumbling, aged, tombstone teeth... in its own peculiar fashion it tantalises, the curious wonder of the unknown, "what next" is quite a satisfying location....
The luxury of melodrama is one to which I feel entitled this evening, I will envelope myself in its velveteen decadence and roll around, a puppy in long grass, twitching in unnecessary and yet somehow appropriate joy... bliss is well deserved, happiness spreading out through my veins, the twitchery, ticklish welcome of home at the end of an exceedingly long day....
The creation of new words is a joy, transmogrification of the old and birth of crispy fresh newness, shine and glitter and drip... what a lazy way to write, but what a delicious way to smile... a planet that is all my own, mine to decorate, to litter on and to polish when I feel the need, what delight....
and then, in passing, my grandmother apparently refuses to believe that I am a pervert, regardless of what facebook (and possibly the Oxford English Dictionary Editors in their Capital Letter induced self importance) may suggest....
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Post Modern Ferret Soup….
I have decided to be a modern day Beatnik, and be far too cool for everyone else… So from now on I will be a retro-ironic post modern banana flavoured collector of circus midgets and teacup scented grandpa cardigans. I will twirl around the planet spreading rainbows, hundreds and thousands and glitter as I go, falling from the sky on random occasions to spread my magic around, weaving it into the culture of the poor uninformed natives of imaginary countries everywhere in a little tranny themed post colonial empire building…
What do you mean it sounds less than fabulous? My imaginary empire will be glamorous, decadent and absolutely untouchable on the party circuit, as well as being completely useless on an economic viability scale, it will be Perfect!
Life is far more fun in ones head, and then I come around, the caffeine buzz wears off and my desk comes into focus, swirling and swimming in my Cyclops vision, its not peacock blue, its not sapient pearwood and it doesn’t even have cute gold drawer knobs.
By the time I prise open both eyes and grudgingly welcome the world in over my colourful macramé doormat life is dull grey once again, my sparkling chariot of terror and joy is a broken down Toyota Corolla circa 1983 with the unlikely name of Tiffany, the soundtrack is far more Radiohead than Donna Summer and the gold lame pants hanging in my closet are brown tweed, small mercy considering that in reality I am more James Gandolfini than James King…
Yes Dear reader (The whole one of you – I love you dad) it’s Thursday and life still sucks.
What do you mean it sounds less than fabulous? My imaginary empire will be glamorous, decadent and absolutely untouchable on the party circuit, as well as being completely useless on an economic viability scale, it will be Perfect!
Life is far more fun in ones head, and then I come around, the caffeine buzz wears off and my desk comes into focus, swirling and swimming in my Cyclops vision, its not peacock blue, its not sapient pearwood and it doesn’t even have cute gold drawer knobs.
By the time I prise open both eyes and grudgingly welcome the world in over my colourful macramé doormat life is dull grey once again, my sparkling chariot of terror and joy is a broken down Toyota Corolla circa 1983 with the unlikely name of Tiffany, the soundtrack is far more Radiohead than Donna Summer and the gold lame pants hanging in my closet are brown tweed, small mercy considering that in reality I am more James Gandolfini than James King…
Yes Dear reader (The whole one of you – I love you dad) it’s Thursday and life still sucks.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Eggs, Bacon and Vanilla Ice Cream on a Bed of Crispy Fried Aliens...
13th May - Gosh, really? Its been that long? I really do need to have more adventures, I'm sure there are one or two up my sleeve, hold on while I rummage...
...
...
Nope, no stories hidden up there, perhaps in my pockets....
I may just have found one, not an adventure, more an anecdote, although I am unsure if it even qualifies there, its more like, weekend homework on a second grade level... so here goes, what I did last weekend...
Saturday morning involved meeting a few friends at Deer Hunter in Greenside, nothing to do with Vietnam, just a great little junk shop, Pez Men, ceramic figurines - although they wouldn't sell me a deer - sorry Jo - vintage clothes, atari games, books, teapots, records by the thousand and amazingly kitsch pictures, like this...
Its terrific, in a crazy Orla Kiely kind of way, and thrills me greatly, little rainbow shivers up my spine...
I bought a Smurfette as Mermaid Keyring for Jo, and a stack of old glasses, which we then modelled over breakfast, How is this for a stylish salad of strange folk...
We had breakfast at Doppio, Jamie ate vanilla ice cream wearing swimming goggles, it was fabulous...
After this we went to the zoo, where, standing peering down at the Polar Bears Jamie said "Look mom, Aliens" apparently oddness is genetic...
That's about all that happened last weekend, thank goodness, as it was followed by a nauseating roller coaster of a week following which I am still reeling, which isn't quite as fun as jitterbugging but can be more easily handled post alcoholic binge drinking... not that I ever do. The jitterbug that is.
Darling is climbing mountains today, which is probably better all round, excitement and adventure weren't exactly on the menu at home today, I was leaning towards tea and reruns... Imagine how exhilarating next weeks Blog post will be...
...
...
Nope, no stories hidden up there, perhaps in my pockets....
I may just have found one, not an adventure, more an anecdote, although I am unsure if it even qualifies there, its more like, weekend homework on a second grade level... so here goes, what I did last weekend...
Saturday morning involved meeting a few friends at Deer Hunter in Greenside, nothing to do with Vietnam, just a great little junk shop, Pez Men, ceramic figurines - although they wouldn't sell me a deer - sorry Jo - vintage clothes, atari games, books, teapots, records by the thousand and amazingly kitsch pictures, like this...
Its terrific, in a crazy Orla Kiely kind of way, and thrills me greatly, little rainbow shivers up my spine...
I bought a Smurfette as Mermaid Keyring for Jo, and a stack of old glasses, which we then modelled over breakfast, How is this for a stylish salad of strange folk...
We had breakfast at Doppio, Jamie ate vanilla ice cream wearing swimming goggles, it was fabulous...
After this we went to the zoo, where, standing peering down at the Polar Bears Jamie said "Look mom, Aliens" apparently oddness is genetic...
That's about all that happened last weekend, thank goodness, as it was followed by a nauseating roller coaster of a week following which I am still reeling, which isn't quite as fun as jitterbugging but can be more easily handled post alcoholic binge drinking... not that I ever do. The jitterbug that is.
Darling is climbing mountains today, which is probably better all round, excitement and adventure weren't exactly on the menu at home today, I was leaning towards tea and reruns... Imagine how exhilarating next weeks Blog post will be...
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